Every once in a while, I make it out to the gym. The trip to the gym always brings about stress, in particular the locker room. I’ve been going to the same gym for about a year now and have been able to navigate from the shower to the changing area with much more ease and less discomfort as before.
Today however this obnoxious, overly comfortable with her body, woman in what seemed to be her late 50s, destroyed all the locker room progress that I had made! Earlier, I spotted this woman, that we shall now call, Cougar Panties, on the elliptical machine. She was using the machine rather oddly, sticking her butt out farther than normal.
Like any good Mexican-American Catholic girl, I make sure and put my bra and undies on in the shower stall. Of course, after I’ve showered. And then just in case, I throw a towel over it all. I realize that this may seem a bit prudish and my response to that is ” Whatevs!”
I dress in record time and grab my blow dryer and brush. I would also like to note that gym hair dryers suck! My hair dries faster standing two feet away from those hand drying machines! As I’m parting my hair in sections, Cougar Panties walks up and begins to slather lotion all over her topless body. I turn my hair dryer on, maybe she will realize that this area is for make up and hair. Nope, not all.
Cougar Panties lathers some more, staring at herself in the mirror and shimming around. This time I look around, expecting to see a camera crew and listening for the cheesy fusion jazz music, because the only explanation for this nonsense is that I must have accidentally walked into a porn set.* Then I thought may be she thought this was a co-ed locker and was seeking out twenty something males in financial trouble.
I couldn’t wait for my hair to fully dry- I needed to get out. How is this behavior acceptable? Don’t get me wrong, I admire Cougar Panties confidence. I’m at the gym in hopes that I will look good for my age like she did but…BOUNDARIES!!! The locker room is a place to change, shower and reflect not the place to practice your scene from Cougar Panties Get Down and Dirty.
Never again will I let my guard down. Never again. I would also like to note that a couple of hours after this I walked into a public restroom. A woman walked in behind me and chose the stall right next to mine. Unacceptable.
* For the record, I never stared directly at Cougar Panties. This is all based off of my peripheral vision.
Love Junkie. 