Half days and other reasons why today rocks.

Nalgene bottles are great zombie brain smashing weapons. Or so I’ve heard.

Fridays are my half days at work. I am so looking forward to being off most of July but for now I cherish these half days.

World War Z opens tonight and I am already disappointed in the movie. The trailers are filled with running, jumping zombies- the book is not. At least most of the book is not. I have 50 pages left (I blame Jen Lancaster and Laurie Notaro for this. Seriously, in this case funny, intelligent, witty women writers trump zombies almost any day. In fact stop reading this right now and google them and then go out and buy one of their books). I honestly have not rushed to finish since the trailers seem so far from the book.

So this afternoon I will spend it reading and drinking water. I recently came close to killing my ivy on the plant nanny app. I’m not proud. And i felt like crap after I almost killed it again by lying about my water intake.

Truth is I need to read and regenerate brain cells after the trash I decided to watch yesterday. I took a day off from work and consumed lots of trash tv. Some I am not proud of- actually most I am not proud of at all.

There is only so much skankness the human mind should be exposed to- and no I am not referring to the NBA finals.

Et tu, Jeepte

The AC saga continues and we have all but had it. After trekking miles and miles in the sun from the auto repair place to our home (one of us forgot the checkbook…ahem) we finally had a full functioning vehicle with nice cold air. I let it blast on super high as if filming a Mariah Carey video from the front seat. Everything was splendid. Life made sense again. Until this morning…

I fought long and hard to not wake up. Not even Matthew’s sweet good morning whispers or Paprika’s annoying, incessant meowing could disturb me. The snooze alarm didn’t even phase me. Then I realized there was no way in hell I was going to make it to my meeting on time if I did not get out of bed asap.

My hair looked perfectly tousled. The time invested on pinterest this last week looking up hair ideas totally helped. My clothes did not need to be ironed and my makeup looked great.

This Monday morning was turning out to be better than all the other Monday’s in a while. We jumped in the Jeep. Matthew was asking questions about the mix cd in the car. Apparently this was the first time he heard my "Blame it on Bob Dylan" mix cd. It was in rotation three weeks ago along with "Songs for our Anniversary." Whatevs.

Matthew turned the AC on some ridiculously low speed. I could feel my perfectly wavy loose curls cringe and frizz up. "OMG it is so freaking hot!" I turned it on full blast! And the AC went from tepid to warm. WTF. We kept messing with the controls thinking may be, just perhaps it was just us. It was not. The Jeep betrayed us. In the cruelest, meanest way possible. Tomorrow, the Jeep goes back for a follow up.

And I will begin my search for the perfect Prius.

McSweaty Pants- And not in a good way either.

The AC is out in the car. And we live in San Antonio, TX also known as the hottest part of the world. I have been sweating so much the last few days that I am pretty sure my electrolites are one milligramiliter away from sending me into the hospital. My jeans are stuck to my legs and now look like skinny jeans instead of bootcut relaxed. Something needs to be done STAT. I want to lose weight but not by dying in the process. Oh and my hair is tired of blowing in the wind. It stopped being cool and sexy somewhere around 4:30 p.m. Tuesday.

Lately, I have been feeling like the absolute most uncreative, super chubby version of myself. Seriously, I have this cute blog journal with lists of things that happen throughout the day that I know must be documented in blog form. But the moment I decide to write I feel so ordinary and uninspired. Kind of like that chick from The Ring has crawled out of my TV and is now standing infront of me sucking the spectacular and awesomeness out of me. Leaving a bit or ordinary me lying on the ground. Or was that The Grudge.

Hence, the lack of postings. I am afraid that if I write everything will be negative garbage. Hmmm perhaps it is too late for that.

Yesterday I read an article, somewhere online (pinterest- brings out the ADHD in everyone) about the use of the word "I" in status updates and blogging. Apparently using "I" frequently gives off a feeling of negativity to the reader. Its makes a person seem lonely and isolated. My only thought is FUCK. What to do now?

And The Office ended last night. Change you are freaking me out. And usually I welcome you. I think I need a moment to shake my fist at life.