I grew up watching novelas (spanish soaps). Dinner was followed by two to three hours of cheesy, dramatic, love tales. Each novela much more intense than the other. It was common knowledge that the six o’clock soap was good, the seven o’clock soap better and the eight o’clock soap…THE BEST. By no means did we ever run errands after 7:00 p.m. as this would only put us at risk of missing the best soap of all!!!
From a very young age I became obsessed with falling in love. I wanted the moment of recognition when two people realize that they are meant to be together and the music changes into a dramatic, intense melody. I wanted those drawn out declarations of love where my favorite two favorite actors would admit that they have loved each other from the moment they met, that their hearts were meant to beat as one and that they would never ever again spend another moment apart (ugh smother much…). From the age of five I wanted to fall in love.
And so I did many, many times. My favorite part of every relationship consisted of the first two weeks to a month- when all those falling in love feelings are there: the constant thinking about each other, the long phone calls that begin in the evening and last late into the night, the wanting to spend every moment together. That was my favorite part of a relationship and I found it comforting that in each relationship that feeling felt exactly the same. It was like watching a Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan romcom- you know what to expect and yet you are still delightfully excited. It was a predictable falling in love.
I began dating 18 years ago (I hate when you get to that age when you can say that things happened more than ten years ago). A few boyfriends, some really bad mistakes and one ex-husband later and I am still obsessed with falling in love. Except now I am in love, completely in love in a way that does not mirror any of my other relationships. Yes, yes i know, everyone says it, “I’ve never felt this way before…” but the truth is I really haven’t. My feelings for each person before were the exact same feelings- but this time, it’s so unreal and unknown and completely scary (in an absolutely wonderful way). And those feelings have lasted well beyond the first two weeks- we have been together for fifteen months and married for nine and my heart still stops when I see him walk in a room or he sends an “I love you” text.
So what does all this mean- It means that now romantic comedies seem so mediocre and I can not watch novelas. The truth is I have not tried to watch a novela- and there is enough drama that I may just give it a shot. But romantic comedies do nothing for me. And believe me I have tried. Matthew has been dragged to so many chick flicks in the time we have been together and has seen me disappointed time and time again.
The romantic comedy was once fuel for my hopelessromaticism. It motivated me to believe that at any moment, I could get my Gucci heal stuck in a crack on a street, have a dumpster roll towards me and some hot looking doctor would rescue me. The romcom made my believe that true love could be conquered by all at the top of the Empire State building. And then I fell in love. And shit got real.
My rose colored glasses were broke and I could no longer relate to this genre of film. I thought of this earlier this evening as I was watching the Biggest Loser on hulu. I sat there crying my eyes out and could not recall the last time I cried during a romcom. It has been months. Has falling in love broken me from the deep desires of watching chick flicks. I definitely need to work through this stuff out. Chick flicks were such a part of my life before…what now?
What now?
Love Junkie. 