How I spent my Summer Vacation.

In my youth, I never took the time to appreciate the awesomeness that is Summer Vacation.   If I could go back in time, I would watch a little more trash TV (I gave up on Jerry and Maury too soon), run around in the sun and maybe not stuff my face with so much food, so that I could actually for once wear a two-piece.   In the past, any time off used to drive me nuts.  Last Summer, I couldn’t wait to get back to work and in fact worked through most of my vacation. WTF, right?  I’ve come to realize that I have been afraid of reaching my full, time-off potential. That is till this Summer vacation.  

My Summer had no idea what it had coming.  I used her and I used her well, I exploited every minute of every day. Not an ounce of Summer Vacay was left untouched when I was done.  My vacation went so well, that I could not sleep last night.  And as a result and am work functioning on only an hour of sleep.  Here for you my friends, a recap of the last to fabulous weeks.

Vacation was off to a rocky start. Everything may have fallen apart if not for my sweet husband. After a rough couple of days of IneedtoloseweightorIwillnevergetpregnant, he implements two a days combined with a couple of days in the country. You will haul ass down a road when their are giant grasshoppers everywhere!

I finally got my butt in gear and attempted to finish my first crocheted scarf. Notice that I said “attempted.” Paprika the cats ensures this task is derailed every chance she gets.

Had a lot of mini dates with my husband. What you can’t see is the ginormous egg salad sandwich directly in front of this plant.

After a very late evening workout, an order of nachos seemed like a good idea. Four hours later, the bubbling in my stomach, informed me that it was an incredibly stupid idea.

  

Megan Fox and I have the exact same kind of thumb. Apparently, we both have what are referred to as “clubbed thumbs.” I am no longer alone in my plight of trying to find an acrylic nail that fits my thumbs. Megan Fox, I got your back yo!

Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation) have the same journal. Yes, I stopped and played the scene over and over again in the episode “Camping” (Season 3, episode 8). This means Leslie Knope and I both shop at Barnes & Noble! What are the chances that a fictional character and I would shop at the same place?!?

And in an effort to be a better friend- spent some time with some amazing women.

Not at the dinner table.

I have grown (not physically sideways) so much since my last post: I ended a bad relationship (with my cell phone provider), became a hip phone user, learned how to use cute emoticons on said phone, opened up my curiosity of colon cleansing-more on that later and fall in love with my husband for like the fiftieth time this week.

I’ve had this crappy samsung galaxy phone for like a decade (two years- okay Matthew, I’m dramatic) and its suck level has increased more and more each month that it has been in my possession.  About a month ago the battery kept dying till I realized that my phone could no longer function without being plugged in.  Yes- so not only did I have a crick in my neck for the last month but I lived in fear that my ear might catch fire. 

But this weekend I said, ‘Basta!’ Enough is Enough! No mas! I refused to spend another day tethered to a wall. Matthew has often made comments about me becoming an iphone user.  He definitely thinks I’m much cooler than I am- because eight grade braces wearing, chubby, Denise still exists inside much older not so self conscience, still chubby thirty three version of myself.  I have not felt cool enough or committed enough to own an iphone. Secretly, I have been dying to conform and hold that cute piece of madness in my hands. So I broke down and purchased a one- the newest one (go big or go home). And I manually entered all my contacts into the phone. Most people save all their numbers to their sim card- I don’t.  Saving to the sim card is exclusively for people that I know will be in my life for good- not just for anyone. 

I will add here that at the time of purchase I ended my relationship with my super awful cell phone company.  Suck it!

Monday, I sent a text to my friend letting her know that I needed to cancel our dinner plans.  She sends me the cutest emoticon- a smiling poop.  Thank you, Chrissy. We continue texting and she sends another cute image.  WTF!  How is this happening?  So I ask her.  Long story short- she walked me through the process and now I can send cute emoticons whenever. Holler!  Bummer- Matthew’s phone is old and can not see ANY of my adorable messages. Ugh!

A week ago, I proposed to Matthew that we no longer look at our phones during lunch.  I might have mentioned before that Matthew and I have lunch almost every day together- even if it’s for twenty minutes.  I noticed that we were spending too much of our lunchtime responding to work texts and emails.  The result- conversations that I never expected to have.  Today we discussed colon cleansing- loud, graphic colon cleansing.  I am sure the restaurant patrons around us did not appreciate this conversation but I could not stop laughing.  I suggested a couple’s colon cleansing- apparently, that’s where we draw the line. Describing bowel movements is okay- have a procedure- not okay.  Geez…

As I drove back to work filled with endorphins- I fell in love with my husband all over again.  Yes, it was a ridiculous conversation, a disgustingly gross conversation but we were talking and laughing and enjoying each others company and our phone’s and the people around us did not exist.  I’ve seen lots of romantic comedies in my time- this is by far the best.